New Life

I have this lovely friend name Jane. Jane is the special education teacher in my support class. About half of my support class is special education designated, and the other half is behind grade level in math. She came from a residential treatment center where she worked with extremely emotionally disabled kids. When she and I started together, she was too strict and I was too loose. It was neat to see us learn from each other. Lately, we have been spending more time together. She came over for dinner a few weeks ago.

I sometimes forget that Jesus is calling people. My friend had so many questions for me, I was suprised.

"So, do you think that only Christians go to heaven?"

"Well, I don't think so, not exactly. I think that humans and God are seperated. Humans are always trying to get to God but can't get there. Everytime a human tries to reach God they become dehumanized. They loose a part of their humanity. Like temple prostitutes who be come sex goddesses but lose a part of their souls. Or religious and political leaders who become God to their people, but cant be themselves. They can only live this characature the the people need them to be. So the only way for the gap to be bridged was for God to become man. We all have different access to the story of God becoming man...I guess we have to do what we can with what we have..."

"So we are all sinners?"

"Yeah, I think sin is sort of loaded--my pastor says sin is rooted in the belief that we deserve to be alone. I don't exactly know what that means. I think its us trying to be god. We all do that, for sure."

"So Jesus is supposed to forgive us?"

"Yeah, it says "This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him." John 3:16-18 message.

"It seems like if Jesus forgives people, then they will decide to sin even more!"

Yeah, it says this, "So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there?" I guess you start to realize that ultimately, sin is not awesome for you. Its not a great way to live...

"Well what do I have to do?"

"You just need to surrender. To be willing to let go of the reins. Its simple but hard...you have to keep on doing it..."


We spent all night--till 11--talking. She read the resentment list I made for 12-step stuff. She was surprised that I had so many resentments! She said hers would be shorter :).

We planned a weekend together. She decided to set me up with her friend Jay, who is an actor, and a Christian, so she knew we would hit it off. I wasn't so sure, but agreed. We would have dinner Saturday night, then we would go see Jay's play. After that we would have a slumber party and go to church.

It was a strange weekend. Jay and I hit it off too well..especially after too many Margaritas. Sara came to church with me and we had lunch with pastor John afterwards. He was so great! I am always proud of him. The way he reps Jesus is just how I think Jesus would want to be repped.

"So, Jane, what are five qualities you think are in a good parent?"

"Unconditional love, teaching ethics, support...I can't think of anything else."

"What do you think God is like?"

"Well, I guess he is like that!"

"So you do believe in God?"

"Yeah I guess I do...in fact, I think I believe more than Jaimie sometimes! But I guess I am scared to surrender."

"Can you explain that?"

"I guess I am scared of joining a cult. I am scared to trade the chaos in for the unknown good. I am scared of being alone"

We walked home from lunch, and Jane pummeled me with questions. Was Jesus a Jew? Was everyone a Jew back then? Were there Catholics back in Jesus's day?

By the time we got home, she was excited. She said she was happy that she believed, and looked forward to spending the day talking with Jesus.

If you are a prayer, pray for her. She has a life that is hard to leave.