Games.

I hate the beginning of a relationship as much as I hate waiting to open presents. I hate the anticipation. I guess you could say I am not patient.

There are a bunch of wierd time rules. Like if you meet someone, and you want to spend time with them, you can't call them right away. You have to wait a bit.

You cant talk about old relationships, fears, faults, anything that is too wierd about you. You shouldn't act too happy to see them. Play it cool, even it it cools off. Maintain dignity.

Don't call two times in a row. Act disintrested, busy, important, scheduled. Fit them in between obligations, and amazing friends, other lovers.

No talking about politics or religion, or your strained relationship with your family. Don't talk about yourself too much...ask good questions. Not too personal though.

Don't talk loud, talk with food in your mouth, or make crazy hand gestures. Pay attention--notice stuff more than you usually do!

Don't talk about your secret internet life, or the things you have bought off of infomercials.

Offer to pay. No snot rockets, or finger-licking, gum smacking, chain smoking. Dont be late, turn your cell phone off. Don't complain or drink too many margaritas.

Then, even if you want to, don't move too fast. Be deliberate. Like those people I can't stand who think too long to choose their words, and methodically place the stapler in its rightful spot on their desks.

Try to act spontaneous, even if you are not. Even if you have every day planned until Sunday, and dude is waffling about whether or not you should do something Thursday, don't act like it bothers you. Neurotic scheduling is not near as cool as flippant spontanaety.

Don't act like you have needs.

DON'T talk to everyone about it. All it does is set up these neurological pathways of obsession, and your brain gets stuck. Stay busy with your really important stuff. ESPECIALLY don't tell your middle school students anything. Before long, all of them will be talking about it, constantly reminding you to stay stuck on your brain track of crazy.

Don't read poetry, or shakespere, or self-help books on relationships, or try to go to massage school, or learn salsa dancing. Don't start watching romantic movies, or catching up on Jane Austin.

Don't overanalyze, trust your feelings, follow your gut. You are probably wrong.

Don't spend your lunch writing poetry, and blow off the run you should have taken!! Don't waste your prep period writing in your blog!!

DONT DO WHAT YOU DID THE FIRST DATE!!! YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! (at least not for a while... :) )

Don't make all the decisions, but make a few, its super annoying when people have no opinion.

Don't lie. I even if you don't like the truth. But, you don't have to answer questions you don't want to answer, and you definitely don't have to blurt out things about yourself that you don't want him to know (So don't do that thing you do where you tell your self not to do something so many times that you end up doing it--like when you stare at the tree you don't want to hit when you are snowboarding).

Dont start believing in "mister right" "happily ever after" "soul mate" "you complete me" shit.

Don't start singing that song, "I believe in miracles" or "I want you," etc.

In fact, don't sing...at least for a while...

Don't spend money you don't have on ridiculous self-improvment projects or wardrobe changes (except for tonight--you earned it because you are SO SPECIAL.)

Well, thats all I can think of for now.