From Jesus to me.

Jaimie,

You have been doing really good with food. I can feel your love in that. Well done! Tonight was rough for you. I knew your pain. I wanted you to share it with me, but you stuffed it in with fruit, an english muffin with almond butter, some yogurt, some olive dip, lots of crackers, a grapefruit, some tea with cocoa powder. I nudged at your heart a few times. I wont force you, you know.

But I have something better for you. I don't want you to be depressed. I want you to be able to tell me you are hurt, that you need my care. I want you to ask for what you need, and not feel the need to stuff yourself. I want you to feel free to choose, and pursue your desires, instead of feeling ambivalent compulsion to go against your desires.

I am not demanding anything from you. I am gentle. Come to me with your burdens. I will give you rest. I ask you for everything. But trust me, I am generous--I will give even more back. With me you can choose life. You can vent! Jaimie, ultimately, I am the only one you can safely surrender to. All other surrenders can cause you harm (even surrendering to relatively safe boyfriends.)

Its ok to start again tomorrow. You can start right now. Come here, I love you, your mine.

Jesus